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suffer_thechild [userpic]

(no subject)

November 14th, 2005 (06:47 pm)
determined

I'm freaking: determined to raise my grade!
I'm listenin' to: The Gorillaz-Feel Good Inc.

Ok, some interesting news, my friend knew this guy Mike who she introducted me into, now she's trying to "hook us up", and I dont even really kno the guy. She keeps askin if I want to go out with him, and I'm like what the hell I mean I just met him like 2weeks ago, and he's 17 so yeah. Lucy says he's into me but I don't know, he's not really a perfect citizen, I mean he says he won't do anything I don't want him to like smoke and such, but it is very hard. Ususally it would be an absolute no, but I don't know, he is nice, and hot, but it's just, he's older, oh and he takes online highschool courses cause he dropped out, I guess its not that bad since he is still taking courses, but I don't know... Whatever, I am tired of talking about him. I had to take Flamenca in Spanish club. Yeah, let's just say I'm no swan. My new knickname with me friends is chicken, because that's what they say I looked like, the said I was so long and akward looking. Whatever, I am gaining weight quickly though, which is good, because I kind of have a figure now yay! I am tired of being through my akward stage, thank god i'm out of it pretty much now. I saw Zethura with luz the other day, and we thought curfew was 11, but it was 10, so we almost got in trouble(luckily the cops didnt see us... It wasn't our fault our ride came late, if anything I couldn't wait to get home, IT WAS FREEZING! About 65 degrees, I guess winter is a comin, and yeah. My brothers voice is changing! Ew it's just too wierd, I know it's natural, but I want his small cute voice back, not his scratchy transitioning one. Looks like I only have 3 f's now, but I think I can manage a d in eng ansd a b or c in pe yay!, maybe not chem tho, im still having trouble catching up with work since my "school related" absence, yet I do mange to do semi-excellent in Espanol, I have to take a verb test tomorrow remindedness. I have seriously been craving some hard alchohol, but I can't give in, I must not be tempted by such a shallow thing. Well I bid adieu and leave with this parting thought, (Cartman to Brad):Hehehehehehe I made you eat your parents!! (Boy crys) (cartman starts licking tears) MMM yummy, tears of unfathomable sadness yummy... (Stan to Kyle): Dude, we are never pissing Cartman off again...
-SOUTHPARK
BEWARE THE GINGERS!!!!

suffer_thechild [userpic]

(no subject)

November 3rd, 2005 (02:28 pm)
complacent

I'm freaking: complacent
I'm listenin' to: Commercial for RENT

Alas, I haven't written in a while. This is due to my busy life lately. But... no use crying over spilled milk, though I might cry if I spilled red wine on my carpet. Okay, enough of that. I went to homecoming with Lucy and Hayden, I danced with Hayden wich was semi-akward, and Michael wanted yet again to dance with me, which of course I would have despised, luckily, I escaped his grasp by hiding in the midst of a crowd of senseless "bumping and grinding", wow, for a second I got stuck in the middle and couldn't escape, I bet I would have suffocated if Julie had not saved me. Ahhh Julie, ever so apathetic is she, yet she does have some moments of compassion. Oh, did I mention I was suspended, yes, it is true. I went to school under the influence of alchohol, the cops came, but no charges were given, just a ten day suspension, plus I had to go to counseling which was not a help in anyway, the bitch sat there and asked questions until it was done, and she gets paid about 170$ what is the deal with that. I am out of school now, because they say I need to get a tetris shot before I come back. Lucy wants me to go to the movies with her and Laura's ex. This is going to get ugly because I think she wants to be with him, even though Laura will hate that. Whatever, direst cruelty is surrounding me as I try to regain trust and respect from my mother, her and Mike still trying for that baby, I pray she will get one. Though no one reads my journal, I will continue to write, for it is a nice thing to have as I look back on old entries. I dyed my hair black, but changed it back to brown. Molly has a mohawk, kind of random, but she can pull it off, I noticed that most of my friends are punk, but I also have others that are hip-hop, interesting combonation at parties I must say. My new nick-name is vodkamanda kind of corny, but my mom says I deserve it for drinkin a bottle of vodka, and thinking I could pass off as sober at school. I guess I should have just skipped. Sometimes I guess you just have to say fuck it and get on with your life. I cut my hair, it is pretty short with bangs parted at the side, semi-emo I guess you could say, but not really, because emos are kind of retarded, but not all of them i.e. Kaylee, though I'm not sure if she's exactly "emo". I want a joint but alas I must stay away and be strong. I need to cut out drugs and alchohol right now before I get into more trouble, they're just not worth it, but at least no one knows I did any drugs ever, which I will never get into again. I guess at least I didn't have to go to some kind of A.A. meeting, I can imagine it Hi, I'm Amanda and I'm an alchoholic hah, I never would have thought my life could turn out this way when I was in say, 4th grade, when my only problem was choosing whether to play with Elise or Mahkayla at recess. I have to say, I kind of miss Park Meadows, even though I am going to be moving from mikes already big house into a like 3800 sq. ft house, it was nice to be in a tight nit place. Park meadows wasn't that bad, but at least now I actually have a life and I have totally awesome friends (and some not so awesome exboyfriends, go single life!), and even though I still have to work out some stuff, everythings been going pretty ok. Well, I'm gonna go watch MADE on MTV.

suffer_thechild [userpic]

(no subject)

September 21st, 2005 (06:06 pm)
hungry

I'm freaking: hungry!
I'm listenin' to: Chuckie cheese commercial

Read more...Collapse )

suffer_thechild [userpic]

(no subject)

September 10th, 2005 (09:29 am)
pissed off

I'm freaking: I'm pissed that I'm grounded
I'm listenin' to: Have A Nice Day- Bon Jovi

I haven't written because my computer's been broken. School has been okay, but there has been so much drama I can't even remember it all. The biggest thing is that there are two groups formed from our old one, with the exception of Beth who goes to both sides to spread rumors and start drama. I am in Spanish club, and thinking of joining photography club. I want a boyfriend! I am just too afraid to ask anyone out because I'm scared of getting rejected, and all the guys that ask me out, I have no desire to be with. Me duele tanto. Sorry, just felt like writing in Spanish because I adore the language, I think it is my favorite class. I am grounded and it ends Wednsday, it's stupid, just for not cleaning the house. My mom said that a fourteen year old is old enough to clean up and help out... whatever biatch, like I even listened to a word she said. I got drunk Thursday night, and the next morning my mom tells me I'm getting out of school a little early for a doctors appt. I was scared because when I got to school, my friends said they could tell I had been drinking because my pupils were dialated. I also thought they might do a test and somehow see. Luckily, even though I kind of doubted the doctor would find out, my mom rescheduled the appt. I hate P.E. the teacher makes us go out into the hot sun, and play football, and then she says she doesn't want to hear our complaints, because she's out there six times a day, whatever, that's just because all she does is sit there in the shade relaxing as we get all sweaty working our asses off. God I hate being grounded, it is so boring. I wanted to go to a football game with my friends yesterday, it sucks. Anyways, I'm not going to say there is nothing more to write about, but there's so much going on in my life that I'm just gonna screw it.

suffer_thechild [userpic]

(no subject)

July 26th, 2005 (05:01 pm)
high

I'm freaking: took some of moms pills :)
I'm listenin' to: All These Things That I've Done- The Killers

I'm back in Az, but haven't felt like writing in a while. I went to Lucy's birthday party and saw Kaylee, Beth, and Charli so that was fun. We spent most of the time in the hot tub talking and joking around, it was so fun. My mom's throwing a pool party at our house on saturday, it's going to be all adults except for like two little kids, so I invited Lucy because otherwise it would probably just be a bunch of drunk adults asking me to get them a drink while the little kids ask me to play horsie... Anyways school seems to approach quicker and quicker. It starts August 8 which will suck because I have to go from being top of the food chain in eighth grade to being the bottom of the food chain in ninth grade at highschool. I feel like I'm helpless, but everyone has to be a freshman to eventually get to seniorville which I hope is worth the wait. But hey, maybe freshman year won't be so bad, I mean what do I know anyways. I feel like throwing up because I just ate a shitload of spree candy and now my stomache hurts. Anyways I'm going to go drink some water and wait for my mom to get home from work...

suffer_thechild [userpic]

(no subject)

June 28th, 2005 (04:43 pm)

I died my hair lighter today. I'm not sure if it looks that good but oh well. I watched Seed of Chucky yesterday, and it was really stupid. We are going to the river Thursday and that should be semi-fun, my sister just hit me, and I hit her back, so now she is going to be her usual tattle-tale brat self and call her mom to tell on me. I know my entries haven't been really long, smart, or thought out, but I usually don't have time to write much. Anyways, my nosey brat sister is her reading this, and she just hit me 'cause she's mad that I wrote that, but it's the truth, anyways, she's annoying me so I'm gonna go.

suffer_thechild [userpic]

I am feeling quizzy, so i'm going to post lots of them Yay!

June 20th, 2005 (05:42 pm)
quixotic

I'm freaking: quixotic
I'm listenin' to: Hampster running on its wheel

The many quizzes of me...Collapse )

suffer_thechild [userpic]

(no subject)

June 19th, 2005 (12:28 pm)
groggy

I'm freaking: I'm tired as hell
I'm listenin' to: CNN News on channel 10

I haven't written in a long time because I don't have much alone time here. I went to Kings Dominion, and that was fun. I am not sure when I'll be coming home to Arizona, maybe in July or August. So even though I still come to LJ alot, I probably won't update very often until I come home. Anyway, better hurry up and finish before someone gets nosey.

suffer_thechild [userpic]

(no subject)

June 7th, 2005 (04:51 pm)
relaxed

I'm freaking: I'm effin relaxed
I'm listenin' to: Judge Judy

Well, this is my first entry. I really don't have much to say except that I am really into psychology lately. I am about to start reading a book about borderline personality disorder, and after that I might start and study other mental disorders too. I think I might be a psychiatrist or psychologist when I get a career after college. I am just about to get off the computer and start my book. I guess that's all.

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