I'm freaking: complacent
I'm listenin' to: Commercial for RENT
Alas, I haven't written in a while. This is due to my busy life lately. But... no use crying over spilled milk, though I might cry if I spilled red wine on my carpet. Okay, enough of that. I went to homecoming with Lucy and Hayden, I danced with Hayden wich was semi-akward, and Michael wanted yet again to dance with me, which of course I would have despised, luckily, I escaped his grasp by hiding in the midst of a crowd of senseless "bumping and grinding", wow, for a second I got stuck in the middle and couldn't escape, I bet I would have suffocated if Julie had not saved me. Ahhh Julie, ever so apathetic is she, yet she does have some moments of compassion. Oh, did I mention I was suspended, yes, it is true. I went to school under the influence of alchohol, the cops came, but no charges were given, just a ten day suspension, plus I had to go to counseling which was not a help in anyway, the bitch sat there and asked questions until it was done, and she gets paid about 170$ what is the deal with that. I am out of school now, because they say I need to get a tetris shot before I come back. Lucy wants me to go to the movies with her and Laura's ex. This is going to get ugly because I think she wants to be with him, even though Laura will hate that. Whatever, direst cruelty is surrounding me as I try to regain trust and respect from my mother, her and Mike still trying for that baby, I pray she will get one. Though no one reads my journal, I will continue to write, for it is a nice thing to have as I look back on old entries. I dyed my hair black, but changed it back to brown. Molly has a mohawk, kind of random, but she can pull it off, I noticed that most of my friends are punk, but I also have others that are hip-hop, interesting combonation at parties I must say. My new nick-name is vodkamanda kind of corny, but my mom says I deserve it for drinkin a bottle of vodka, and thinking I could pass off as sober at school. I guess I should have just skipped. Sometimes I guess you just have to say fuck it and get on with your life. I cut my hair, it is pretty short with bangs parted at the side, semi-emo I guess you could say, but not really, because emos are kind of retarded, but not all of them i.e. Kaylee, though I'm not sure if she's exactly "emo". I want a joint but alas I must stay away and be strong. I need to cut out drugs and alchohol right now before I get into more trouble, they're just not worth it, but at least no one knows I did any drugs ever, which I will never get into again. I guess at least I didn't have to go to some kind of A.A. meeting, I can imagine it Hi, I'm Amanda and I'm an alchoholic hah, I never would have thought my life could turn out this way when I was in say, 4th grade, when my only problem was choosing whether to play with Elise or Mahkayla at recess. I have to say, I kind of miss Park Meadows, even though I am going to be moving from mikes already big house into a like 3800 sq. ft house, it was nice to be in a tight nit place. Park meadows wasn't that bad, but at least now I actually have a life and I have totally awesome friends (and some not so awesome exboyfriends, go single life!), and even though I still have to work out some stuff, everythings been going pretty ok. Well, I'm gonna go watch MADE on MTV.